CHILDREN, not the parents, are the true VICTIMS of divorce. The changes that occur, which they have absolutely no control over, will be life altering for them.
When parents divorce, the children are thrust into two very different worlds. They worry if they played a role in the decision to divorce. They also yearn for their parents to reconcile.
If a parent truly cares about their child, the last thing he/she will do is ask the child to take sides. Parental alienation syndrome is alive and well. If only the alienating parent could think of the child, instead of him/herself.
When I discuss issues with a client who is contemplating or in the midst of divorce, I always stress the importance of counseling. Counseling is important for many reasons, the most lasting is what you will learn from it.
Your counselor will expose you to many issues that brought about the disolution of your marriage. These issues will include the fundamentals of interpersonal relationships, establishing boundaries within your relationships, listening to your partner when they communicate needs, and most importantly, keep the children out of it.
A loving parent will recognize that children need both of their parents. A loving parent will recognize and accept that expecting a child to pick a side is detrimental to their well being. A loving parent will encourage their child to maintain a relationship with the ex-spouse, not prohibit it.
When experiencing a divorce, the children should be protected from becoming "collateral" damage. The divorce has nothing to do with them. By keeping them out of things, you protect them from the fallout, which is "as it should be."
Yea you should know all about this topic
ReplyDeleteYes, I do know about this topic. That is why I included the "totally personal" intro. Losing your relationship with your children due to parental alienation is something no child nor parent should experience.
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